Nature is a harsh mistress…
Not So Impressive Entertainer #20
Master of the Elements
“Dudley Crispin-Thynne II was the last in a long line of Thynnes and as such inherited very little of the family’s squandered fortune and rather more of the inbreeding causing a plummeting IQ. His plan to avoid unemployment benefits was to put his masterly abilities to use in true thespianic terms as “Master of the Elements”. It seemed only right and proper that he should be adept as lord over the natural world, as compensation for his almost complete lack of ability to master a trade.
He donned an antique but none the less magnificent top hat and tails, last worn by Grandpa Dudders at his wedding, and began his busking career by standing amongst representative elements, commanding them to great effect. His biggest crowd gathered as he kicked the bucket, water shorting his wind whilst being earthed, the resultant fire drawing rapturous applause followed by the hushed horror of extinguishment when an observant audient discerned shrieks of pain amongst the clapping and crackling of melting nylon, a cheap yet highly flammable cape failing workplace health and safety requirements and ruining the effect altogether.” – Biography by wonko