Please enjoy thisevening’s entertainment.
Not So Impressive Entertainer #21:
Gaston the Gallant and his Gymnastic Gastropods
“Gaston failed his final-year flambé exam by accidentally charring the invigilator and decided, after a calming aperitif of absinth that a life as a sous-chef was not for him. His unhappy years rising through the ranks at Collegé Technicale saw him grow fond, some would say unhealthily so, of some of the ingredients he had to prepare – his only friends. He hatched an audacious plan for a show unlike anything the Hôtel de Bourgogne had ever seen. Gaston was billed as “Wrangler des Escargot”, and his show was credited to include gymnastique de gastropoda, synchronised and figure slithering followed by a late night supper and aperitif.
In the shortest season ever at d’hôtel, the show failed to open for its second performance, a Sunday matinee. Gaston finally came to terms with insurmountable casting difficulties, having served the Saturday evening ensemble to a ravenous and exhausted audience après l’exposition. It was little consolation for sitting through some of the slowest and most un-coordinated escargot-based entertainment ever staged, regardless of the flamboyance of the garnish. Gaston, broken hearted, abandoned this aspirations for a life in the theater completely, finally having to admit his snails had failed to learn anything at all. Broken-hearted, he settled for life as a teacher of English, there at least no one noticed if pupils failed to learn anything or take him seriously.” – Biography by wonko