Grasping his mighty sword, Sir Shoutsalot ascends the ranks to become the 22nd Not So Impressive Entertainer. Feast your eyes on his mighty form, and tremble.
Not So Impressive Entertainer #22
“Whether to compensate for his lack of will power regarding cream cakes, his minute and oddly misshaped genitalia or just as a by-product of his carrot-red hair, John MacDongle was well known for being loud. He had two vocal volumes – full and off. He was the last person you would ask to whisper a secret or talk confidentially as his high-pitched and penetrating voice would relay clearly what he was saying to even distant, uninterested people who happened to be in earshot, or indeed the same suburb.
An agent had an idea for a stage act that harnessed John’s vociferous ranting, and “Sir Shouts-a-lot” was born. In full heraldic regalia, MacDongle would stand centre stage and shout at things – sometimes small defenceless animals, more regularly inanimate kitchen implements or garden gnomes. The ranting was rarely scripted but always colourful, part of the charm was that much of the raving was spontaneous and therefore had some artistic merit, or so the review in the programme read. Although provided with a lapel microphone, the sound engineer never found it necessary to activate the sound system during a “Sir Shout-a-lot” session, regardless of the size of the venue.
Audiences dwindled when they finally realised that the act was really just a ginger shouting, to the point where the only economically viable venues for the show were church halls and private bars of pubs, neither of which welcomed the abusive Scotsman, regardless of the splendour of his costume or the reassurance from the manager that there would be much less profanity and blasphemy this time around.” – Biography by wonko